Wayfinding and sense-making in a fractured world
Many of my friends are now in the 30-something club and facing many of the same existential questions about life and our place in it.
Am I happy? What skills do I need in this changing world? Do I want kids? Should I even have kids, knowing about climate change? What does a meaningful life look like? Should I move closer to home to be with my parents while they’re still around? Should I quit my job and start a commune?
It’s a lot. While the specific flavour of questions has varied amongst friends, I’ve noticed a shared general feeling of being overwhelmed, lost, and unsure of the direction to take in our shared context of late capitalism, climate emergency, ongoing genocides, and a rise in fascism. Many of us are so focused on surviving that it feels impossible even to begin thinking about the more meta questions of what it might mean to thrive in life.
Over the past few years, I’ve experienced an uncomfortable tension between my personal values and the security that comes with having a well-paid, cushy tech job. I have oscillated between justifying why it makes sense to build a future with my family financially and then beating myself up for not being brave enough to pursue something more meaningful. I sought value-aligned approaches to drive internal culture change with sustainability in mind. Unfortunately, I hit very real limits to the progress we could make due to the realities of working for a shareholder-driven company. It has felt like a never-ending dance around the edges of burnout, which dwindled my capacity to pursue the things in life that bring a twinkle to my eyes.
Feeling stuck, I sought out the wisdom of people who worked, lived, and played in different spaces, places, and ways that were unfamiliar to me. One foundational question was always at the heart of these conversations and guides this article: How does someone determine the path they should take in their life that makes sense for them, given the current state of the world?
Revisiting my Notes app
Below are nuggets of wisdom from many soul-nourishing conversations with people around the world. These insights pulled on many threads in the greater tapestry of life, with some solid themes emerging. A lot of these insights made me feel seen, changed my perspective, and offered some answers to the wayfinding and sense-making question I shared above.
1. Values as navigation tools
Values need to be tested to become real and shared
Writing down values helps with alignment and reduces stress
There’s only so long you can stay misaligned before it damages you
If something feels like BS, trust that instinct
Keep questioning and growing through deeper philosophical inquiry
2. Community and relationship as a foundation
We need each other to live well, from small acts of help to building community
Include your family/partner as part of your “unit” in life design
Surround yourself with people who share your values
Hands-on community work provides deep fulfillment
Individual lives matter, even in “big picture” thinking (don’t ever forget that)
3. Work and meaning - beyond moral purity
All work has its place and importance; avoid moral hierarchy about “meaningful” work
Make a difference where you are, in the way you can
Work both inside and outside systems for change
Be realistic about money needs and career planning
Corporate mission vs. reality creates inherent tension
4. Embodied wisdom and intuition
Trust your gut - you usually already have the wisdom you need
Connect with your inner artist
Build a relationship with the natural world and your spirituality
Listen for the desire to build, not just critique
5. Pace and process over outcomes
Going slower transforms life; rest is resistance
Focus on what you can do, not what you might lose
Avoid rushing achievements - give yourself time to grow as a human
Worrying about fictional futures is unproductive
Development happens one person at a time
6. Strategic openness
Tell people your interests and passions
Say yes to opportunities while avoiding “shiny toy syndrome”
Try different things, but stay true to what fills your cup
Embrace pluralism - there are many valid answers
Wayfinding as a practice
After stewing on these insights, I reflected on how to put them into practice. I’ve found it helpful to think about wayfinding not as a one-time decision or destination, but as an ongoing practice of orientation. This drew many parallels for me, in particular, learning to sail over the past two summers. For context, I’ve always harboured romantic notions of myself as a sailor.
My first time out on the little Zest boats in Vancouver was humbling. The winds and current kept shifting, and my lack of ability to jibe resulted in some bruising to my head (and ego). As someone with perfectionist tendencies, I often want an exact playbook or answer for how to do something. However, this learning experience was a needed reminder that there isn’t always a simple answer. I can’t always control everything (especially the wind), and I needed to read and respond to the changing conditions.
Sailing turned out to be about constant mini-adjustments: feeling the wind on my face, watching the water around me, adjusting my sails as needed. Sometimes I’m making progress toward my destination, sometimes I’m tacking away from it to catch a better wind. There’s something beautiful about the way that wayfinding on the water feels akin to wayfinding in life. The key isn’t having perfect visibility of the destination, but maintaining a sense of direction. When things feel a bit choppy, clarity comes not from having all the answers, but from knowing what matters to you.
Wayfinding manifesto
If you’ve been reading carefully, you’ll remember the advice above, that writing down values helps with reducing stress. An enlightening conversation with Zainab Kakal about her own wayfinding manifesto in existing responsibly inspired me to articulate my own personal wayfinding manifesto. This has been wonderfully helpful in those moments when I start to spiral, panic, and freak out about taking bold (scary) steps in a more values-aligned direction. I have revisited this manifesto, anchored myself, and felt my nervous system exhale a little.
Here are some of the musings within my own manifesto:
Joy: Pursue more joy in the everyday, small parts of life. Love fully. Have fun.
Show up: Be fully present. Don’t look away because it’s easier. Be the person you needed when you were younger.
Slow down: You don’t always have to be productive. Rest is resistance. Be intentional.
Tread gently: Consume less, and act in the service of protecting our shared home. Be gentle with your inability to be gentle with yourself.
Tickle your edge: Flirt with the things that scare me, get comfortable being uncomfortable.
Don’t settle: Go after the big dreams, even if it feels a little delusional. Trust your gut. Don’t wait for “someday.”
Given that I’m still very much navigating my own sense-making and wayfinding journey, I’m sure that these will change and evolve as I do. I offer them here as an invitation for you to consider what your wayfinding manifesto might look like as you make sense of your place in this beautiful and messy life.
Photo credits: Unfinished drawing of two men sailing (1987) by Edwin Austin Abbey
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